Barrels of Trouble
by iloveit
Summary: It's about Ashton. And barrels. What more do you need to know?


A/N: This story takes place some time after Star Ocean: Blue Sphere. In case you're not too familiar with the storyline, the only thing you really need to know is that Precis and Leon went to Earth for a little while.

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Barrels of Trouble

The strange land was treacherous and unknown, and yet Ashton could not contain his excitement as he trekked onward through icy terrain, knowing what he was sure to find. Falling snow obscured his vision and the eerie voices of vicious creatures inundated his ears, but he was determined not to let anything come between him and his goal. He would move forward, avoiding the hungry birds that plagued the vast Arctic wasteland. No obstacle could stop him from arriving at the one thing he truly wanted to behold, to observe, to worship in all its divine glory.

A barrel! A round, shiny, fabulous barrel! Finally coming to the object of his desire, he slowly lifted it, admiring the way the barrel's golden brown tones stood out against the grey-white snow. He released it from his grasp and watched breathlessly as it rolled ahead and obliterated everything in its path with exquisite grace.

He continued on his quest, enraptured by the movement of the precious object. It was a beautiful sight, to be certain. The allure of the barrel had captivated him, so much that his consciousness felt completely removed from his physical form. He had even forgotten the two dragons attached to his back. He couldn't feel them, couldn't even hear them as they loudly bickered with each other. His companions, too, were lost to him. They could have been a world away as they chattered amongst themselves, wondering what had caused the unlucky warrior to become so distant.

All Ashton saw were barrels. Lots of beautiful barrels. Plain barrels, spinning barrels, floating barrels, barrels covered with brilliant stars. Barrels. BARRELS barrels BARRELS barrels BARRELS barrels BARRELS.

B – A – R – R – E – L – S!

He could not control his urges any longer. As he descended a hill, another barrel called out to him. He looked at it, and after stopping momentarily to admire its flawless shape, he realized what he had to do. The barrel was calling out to him, telling him to come. And instinctively, he knew it would take him to where he needed to be.

Taking a deep breath, he leapt towards the barrel in a blind embrace and let it carry him away. He had to be dreaming now, he was sure of it. Flying from one barrel to the next with fantastic speed, he wished he could stay in this world forever. If only he could forget about the misfortunes in life and live amongst the barrels, everything would be perfect.

His thoughts were interrupted by solid ground. The last barrel had abandoned him on an icy slope, and he was quickly sliding downward. Why? How could a barrel do this to him?

He was falling. He was going to die. He'd never reach the barrels up ahead…

"Come on, Ashton, you can do it!"

"Yeah! Show that hill who's boss!"

Suddenly, he could hear the encouraging voices of Leon and Precis behind him. They were right! He had no choice but to pull himself together and conquer that slope. He couldn't let it end like this! Not when there were so many more barrels he had yet to meet!

Gritting his teeth, he got into prime jumping position and leapt towards the top of the hill. Landing right on the edge, he sighed with relief. "That was too close."

"In front of you!" Precis squealed. "A barrel!"

Sure enough, several feet away was another marvelous barrel. It was almost as if he was being rewarded for the challenge he had overcome. Dashing towards it, he grabbed it with glee. He gazed at it adoringly until a distraction came in the form of Celine's falsely sweet voice.

"Darling, surely you aren't going to stare at that all day," she peered at him with concern, and he averted his gaze from the barrel, if only for a moment. "Whatever are you doing?"

"Looking at this magnificent BARREL, of course!" His voice was startlingly cheerful compared to his usual demeanor.

Curious, Claude looked around for the source of the exclamation and nearly fell over in shock. He blinked with disbelief as he saw Ashton staring intensely at the object cradled in his hands. It definitely explained why the swordsman had been so disinterested in their reunion, but…

"Where did you get that?" he nearly shouted, he was so taken aback. There was no way that thing could have come from Expel, that was for sure.

"Precis found it for me," Ashton muttered distractedly, not taking his eyes off the glorious barrel.

The nerve of that girl. "Precis!" Claude scolded her, and the lively teenager turned from her conversation with Leon at the mention of her name. "You got him that?" He pointed to the very preoccupied swordsman, who was currently in barrel-loving heaven.

Precis put on the best blank stare she could manage. "Uh, yeah… so?"

Claude had wondered if it could be a bad idea to take the sometimes troublesome Precis and Leon to Earth with him, but he'd never thought Precis would do a thing like this. According to interplanetary law, it was downright illegal, and he'd be held responsible for it. "I warned you about the Undeveloped Planet Protection Treaty, didn't I?"

Leon smirked at this. "I told you you'd get in trouble."

Well, it wasn't like she'd been _trying_ to cause trouble. It was just that she knew how much Ashton loved barrels, and the poor guy always seemed so down about his bad luck, she'd wanted to give him a bit of happiness for once. And, by the looks of things, it had worked incredibly well. "I'm sorry?" she tried.

Claude sighed. "You don't get it, do you? No matter how much he likes barrels, something that advanced doesn't belong on a planet like this. If I get arrested, I'm using _your_ inventing budget to bail myself out of intergalactic jail."

Dias, who had been staring alone in the opposite direction while feigning disinterest in the entire exchange, began to wonder what kind of superior Earth technology could possibly be involved in a barrel, of all objects.

"Awww, they won't notice a little thing like this, will they?" Precis argued.

Opera entered the conversation. "Considering Ernest and I landed spaceships on Expel and got away with it, you're probably right."

"We didn't quite get away with it," Ernest corrected her. "Have you forgotten the fines they gave us?"

"Fines? How much?" Precis was getting scared. She wasn't exactly rich.

"54,000 Fol."

"But I can't afford that!"

"A displaced gadget from an advanced planet," Chisato mused. "This could be the story that gets me my big break on Expel!"

"Don't even think about it!" Claude snatched her notebook away before she could begin to write. "The last thing we want is for this to get out."

"Just be quiet, all of you! Can't you see I'm trying to concentrate?" Ashton glared fiercely at everybody. The last time they'd distracted him from something so crucial, he'd wound up with two dragons on his back as a reminder of the incident. Did his companions _never_ learn?

He threw up his hands in disgust as he fell into the icy bottomless depths of Snow Barrel Blast for the fifteenth time. With his miserable luck, it was no wonder he wasn't any good at Donkey Kong.

Blinded by irritation, Ashton failed to notice that he had inadvertently let go of the forbidden object in his rage. Ten of his companions gasped with horror as they saw where it was headed.

As for the eleventh, Dias finally realized the others hadn't been talking about a barrel when a flying piece of junk marked "Game Boy Advance" knocked him on the back of the head.


End file.
